BEFORE/AFTER: REFLECTIONS ON A CRISIS YET TO COME

HEY THERE LOYAL READER(S? a girl can dream),

something awful happened yesterday and oh man does time feel fake right now. when something big and bad happens it divides things into BEFORE THE THING or AFTER THE THING and i'm going to talk at you about our time BEFORE THE THING now because that is when everything was a relative idyll and nothing was wrong.

SCENE: it is two days ago and nothing is wrong except how my ann arbor home is coated in filth. 

we drive from the cleve to ann arbor and lexi sleeps in the car. i woke up that morning and she was gone so i did some ab workouts and then worried about where she was and then found her when she came downstairs to tell me she was still in the home but had not slept. instead she had lain on the couch and counted whatever the opposite of sheep are (anxieties?) until the wee hours, while i and the other good boys and girls slumbered and dreamed and etc etc etc


in the morning we waited for her grandfather to come by and see her and the fam. the only other time i met her grandfather, he gestured to my nose piercing and said "what did you do to your face?" before walking away and never speaking to me again until that morning.

king lexi ate a pancake and then we left and i drove us a few hours to Ann Arbor Michigan while king lexi fell right asleep in the car like a tiny baby savoring the insides of her eyelids. what??? yeah

rough approximation of how lexi
felt about my home and also everything. hey babe

SCENE: my car is still working and we pull into the lot at XXX S. STATE STREET, APT X. 

king lexi said "wait, was the heat not on?" and i said "haha oh" and then we walked into my home and she said "oh" and i said "i told you so. did i not tell you so. didn't i warn you about this. i i tol d you it was dirty didn't i complain about this didn't i tell you and i am so sorry didn't i tell you though wasn't i right about how dirty it is" and it was very charming of me and super fun to listen to 

so after that wrapped up and i apologized for approximately 500,000 years, i packed up all of my things and king lexi said yes or no to all of my clothes and we threw two trash bags of them out. they didn't go to the trash though; they went to the salvation army and so we have all been SAVED.  you're welcome, brave soldiers!

i ate like 500 sour patch kids while
we were in the donation line 

at this point i feel that it is important to say that nothing that happened this day was bad. everything was FINE IT WAS FINE we had no idea about the future and how much shit was about to go down very soon. 

it was a dreary day and after we did all the moving things we sat down. we sat on the couch and watched sabrina the teenage witch for 9 episodes and ate korean food and it was FINE IT WAS FINE 

SCENE: we have been watching sabrina the teenage witch for 9 episodes. i finally finish the one goddamn article i had to write and say the phrase "journalism isn't HARD" and it sounds mean. 

i matched i guess

 

we went out for SNACKS and had some nice sandwiches (japanese (phonetically): san-do-ii-chi) that i did not take photos of. brought half of sandwiches back and watched magic mike xxl and it was nice! it was nice. 

you might even say........it was FINE IT WAS FINE 

FINALE: it was late and i went to do more abs and then it was midnight and we both fell off to sleep. everything had not yet gone wrong and this my dear friends is what we will call a cliffhanger. hang on tight, bbz